Logo

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 27.06.2025 06:17

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

Bucheron and Myriel’s Karyn Tomlinson win James Beard Awards - Star Tribune

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By taking turns talking.

Im not transphobic/homophobic but, am I in the wrong for being uncomfortable when a trans person comes into the lockeroom? I just dont want them to stare at me while Im changing.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.